Newly I discovered one of the most entertaining TEDx Talks I watched so far: “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck” by Sarah Knight. In her TEDx Talk Sarah shares a very important lesson she learned by chance and she reveals the secret to inner satisfaction and joy in our life.
What is the TED Talk about?
The premise is, that we all have a limited amount of time, energy and money, or as Sarah calls it, a limited “Fuck Budget”. It is therefore very important to know what exactly we spend our “Fuck Budget” on.
When you think of a minimalism lifestyle, it’s about decluttering your life from unnecessary things and owning only what you really need.
When physical items are involved, the process is easy. For example, you use the “decluttering after a move” method: you pack all the items you own into moving boxes and whenever you need an item, you take it out of the box. After a few weeks – or months -, you’ll quickly realize which items remained in the boxes and you can safely dispose of, sell or give away.
But according to Sarah, disposing of superfluous items alone is not enough!
So what if we could apply the decluttering idea to also get rid of all our daily tasks, obligations, relationships, worries etc., in order to only keep what is important to us and brings real joy in our lives?
Concerning this matter, Sarah has discovered a simple method, a kind of mental clear-out she calls “Not Sorry Method”.
Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck – Not Sorry Method
Step 1: Find out what you don’t care about in your life, i.e. all the things you “don’t give a fuck” about.
Let’s say all your colleagues binged Money Heist – meh! -, Game of Thrones – watched it till the end -, the Olympic Games or the soccer World Cup – both boring beyond belief – and expect you to watch all the episodes/matches too, so you can join in the conversation at lunch. But now you realize you are not interested in the show/the sport event at all. Here step 2 comes in.
Step 2: Don’t waste any of your fucks on anything that doesn’t interest you.
In the example, this simply means saying “no” to Money Heist, Game of Thrones, the Olympic Games or the soccer World Cup. If you really don’t care, why waste your precious time watching all the episodes or Olympic discipline, waste energy worrying about what might happen in the next episode or what soccer team will reach the finals, or waste money buying t-shirts, DVDs, pay-tv subscriptions etc.?
The important message is: you don’t have to be sorry if you say no to something you don’t like, to an invitation to a party you don’t want to go to or anything else. After all, you can openly admit that you are not interested or that you simply don’t want to.
Always be fair and not rude, because others have very different interests and believe you share them too. And if you need any advice on how to overcome your limiting beliefs, I wrote this article that will interest you.
Sarah also wrote this book: Life Changing Magic Of Not Giving A Fuck* on the topic. The problem nice people and conformists suffer from is that they haven’t learned to say no, to live your own life and to stop fulfilling the desires and wishes others have. Above all, you have to stop thinking about what other people think about you.
The topic of saying no is important, many people spend most of their time doing things they neither want nor need to do, wasting their time, energy and often also money – not to mention the negative feelings they develop doing all these things.
This book really helped me to take a closer look at my own life and to change it. The advice she gives is presented in a very practical way. Admittedly, I also had to read the whole book with mixed feelings, as the language contains many scatological allegories.
The bottom line
By consistently reducing what doesn’t interest you, you will have more time, energy and money – more “Fuck Bucks”, as Sarah says – for what interests you and brings you joy.
There is no need for “using money you haven’t earned to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like”.
We humans tend to act to impress others, sometimes we even think it is expected. But this is your life, your time, your energy and your money. So use it for what is important to you and don’t feel guilty if you are actually consistent.
Who is Sarah Knight
Sarah herself has climbed the career ladder over the years and has been a managing editor for New York City’s top publishing houses. Her problem, however, was that she was unhappy in her situation; so unhappy that it was hard for her to get up every day and go to work. Quitting her job, which certainly wasn’t easy, gave her the opportunity to realign herself and use her time, energy and money for what she enjoys – that still includes work, but in a different way.
Be sure to check out the video of her TED Talk. It’s worth it and really entertaining! Anyway, I learned something very important and that’s why I took the time to write this post.
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